The Role of Women in the Church

With the advent of the feminist movement, the role of women in all parts of society has come under increasing scrutiny. One area of recent controversy is the role of women in the Christian Church. Some churches whose traditions and practices are less rigidly tied to Biblical doctrines have begun placing women in leadership positions such as pastor or teacher. Other churches which interpret the Bible more literally have been slow to adopt such changes. Much of the confusion is based on attempts to interpret scriptures pertaining to women. In this essay, we will use the Bible to understand the role of women in the church of the first century and apply that understanding to the church of the twentieth century. Many people would dispute the Bible's relevance to contemporary thought in general, and in particular to the role of women in worship. If the Bible were not written under divine inspiration, a person or practice is not bound by its teachings. He or she can therefor pick and choose whatever corresponds to his/her point of view. However, if the Bible is of divine inspiration, then a cautious consideration of passages relevant to a particular issue must be undertaken. Traditions and customs that have arisen after the Bible was written may thus be carefully scrutinized. Such practices may or may not prove sound after comparison with scripture. Before we discuss specific issues concerning women in worship, we should consider principles derived from the relationship of Adam and Eve as described in Genesis chapter one. The Apostle Paul frequently uses this passage as a guideline when discussing women and women's issues. Genesis 1 verse 27 states: "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." Most Commentators agree that man and woman are both equally a reflection of God's image; the word "man" here is used as a synonym for humanity. Adam and Eve were also given joint dominion over creation. But the fact that Adam was created before Eve has significance to Paul and other Old Testament scholars; it signifies role distinction between the two sexes. The role of the man is leadership, while the role of woman is as a source of strength and support. In the letter to the Ephesians, Paul states: "For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. . ." (Eph. 5:23) This is an important analogy. If a person wants to understand the Christian authority of a man over his wife, he must consider how Christ demonstrated his leadership as head over the Church. Primarily, he gave his life for his church, not using force or coercion for her submission. When considering mens and woman's ministry in the church, it is important to keep in mind this role distinction. Lets examine the public ministry of women in the Church. Two major passages give specific instructions regarding women during worship in the letters of the Apostle Paul. These two passages are used frequently when denying women a public role in church life. The first is in I Corinthians chapter 14 verses 33 - 35, this passage commands women to be silent during worship service. Similarly but with more details, I Timothy 2 verses 8 - 15 not only contains a command to be silent but also instruction on authority along with a reference to the fall of Adam and Eve for further explanation. Here is the passage in its entirety using the NIV (New International Version) Bible translation: I want men everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing. I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God. A women should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. But women will be kept safe through childbirth, if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety. A woman raised in the U.S. in this day and age, reading the letter for the first time, may be quite taken aback by its apparent chauvinism. However, there are some specific historical and cultural references that must be taken into account when considering the meaning and intent of this passage. First of all, this was a letter written by Paul to a young preacher named Timothy. Timothy was presumably preaching at the church in the city of Ephesus. Paul starts out the letter by telling him to stay in Ephesus and correct false teachers who were creating a disruption in the church. Various commentators have tried to re-create some of the heresies of these false teachers. This can be a difficult task since there is not a record of exactly what was being said, so only remarks made in the text itself can give a clue. One probable heresy was the idea of asceticism as a way to achieve spirituality. The ascetic practices being recommended consisted of; abstinence from certain foods, from marriage, and sex. Add to all of this physical training as an additional means of spirituality. It was thought that through these practices, one could achieve something akin to heaven on earth. In other words, there was possibly a denial of a future physical resurrection being taught in favor of a spiritual one that could be achieved in their present lifetimes. It seems also from Paul's remarks that many women in the church had been converted to this message and they were being persuaded to renounce their traditional roles in favor of a more egalitarian way of life in line with their new-found spirituality. This would explain the strong words Paul makes in reference to Eve, reminding the women that she was indeed led into sin, and that bearing children and raising them was a good thing, not unspiritual as they were being taught. Yet, the other parts of this passage that admonish women not to teach and not to have authority over a man have been agreed upon by many, if not most, commentators to have timeless application; the words and grammar in Greek do not lend themselves to any cultural reference. The teaching that Paul is concerned about here is specifically the truths of the faith while the authority in question refers to women in governing or leadership positions of the church. But, before making conclusions on a Biblical truth it is important to see if the truth holds fast throughout the whole of scripture. Let's consider some other passages. In Galations 3 verse 28, Paul states: "There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." Some commentators have suggested that this teaching could have had some influence in the false teachings that were encountered in Ephesus and Corinth in regard to women. Christ himself taught that in the afterlife, men and women would not be given in marriage and they would be like the angels. Thus, the women were being encouraged, by some misguided teachers, to renounce their traditional roles. Without taking this radical extreme, the modern reader is at least inclined to ask what it means that men and women are one in Christ Jesus? It must certainly mean that there is not one sex inferior to the other. Beyond this, their are clear examples in the book of Acts that may shed some light by way of documented practice, on the command not to have authority over men. First of all, there were prophetesses. In Acts 21: 8 - 9, Philip, one of the seven deacons, is said to have four daughters who prophesied. Prophesying was not primarily divination of the future but also the conveying of Gods Word to his people, i. e. teaching. Furthermore, in 1 Corinthians 11: 4 - 5 Paul states, "Every woman who prays or prophesies. . ." Clearly women in Corinth were praying and prophesying during the worship service. There is also the case of Precilla and Aquila described in Acts Chapter 18. Many Commentators feel it is significant that whenever this couple are mentioned in the Bible, Precilla, the women, is mentioned first because of her great knowledge. It appears that they worked together as a teaching team and their effectiveness is demonstrated when they taught Apollos "the ways of the Lord more adequately" (Acts 18: 26). Apollos is described as a learned man who came to Ephesus and began teaching from the scriptures in a knowledgeable way although lacking in one of the fundamental teachings. Another Case in point is a business woman named Lydia who lived in Philippi. She accepted the Gospel message from Paul and Silas while at a place of prayer. After this incident is recorded, a strong church is mentioned in Philippi later in the Bible. We can only surmise that she played a significant part in the growth of this church, since no men were initially converted. These passages all call into question the real nature of the moratorium on teaching and the meaning of no authority mentioned in 1st Timothy. That women were teaching men is obvious, although at times they may have been co-teaching with male teachers. The case of the prophetesses is also compelling because although most churches do not recognize prophecy as being a modern gift, teaching certainly is and this was one of the important functions of a prophet. Some Commentators in discussing women's ministry in the New Testament have brought to light the customs of the day regarding women. Paul's main concern was the spread of the Gospel and that the message could be made attractive in every way. For this reason Paul encourages women in other passages to continue observing social customs such as the wearing of a veil; otherwise people might criticize them as loose or immoral and belittle the Gospel message. This is, I believe, a valid thought not only in 1st century times but in our culture today. Consider, for example, what non believing women in the US think upon entering a Christian assembly for the first time and seeing a service that appears to be run completely by men? They may conclude that women are being suppressed and that the gospel message makes women inferior to men. In conclusion, we can say that although there is no sanction in scripture for women to take roles of leadership, public ministry and teaching are not as clearly forbidden and a degree of latitude in interpretation is warranted. More importantly, if women are not allowed to have a voice or some kind of input, the church could be loosing a valuable resource. If a husband does not consider his wives thoughts and ideas as being important or valid, his family is surely incomplete, dysfunctional and doomed to failure. Therefore, as the church strives to realize Gods purpose for women, we must remember the truths of the scripture and apply them to our present day culture. This will allow men and women to present the Christian message to our world in the most powerful way. That is exactly what the Apostle Paul desired along with all of the New Testament leaders and it is what we should desire as we consider the path of the modern church.

Equality

In 1890, less then one half of one percent of women were employed gainfully outside of the home. Over the next hundred years, women have not only gained access to jobs outside of the home, but also fought for equality in the work place. These struggles have not been easy by any means. Women have overcome many obstacles in there journey into the work force, none grater then the views of their male piers. Many males thought and continue to think that there is no place for women in the work place. Women made there strides into the work force by not only following examples of their courageous pioneers, but also by banding together to show their strength. During the mid 1800's a small number of women begin their assault on, what were at the time considered, male-only jobs. Fields such as teaching, preaching, medicine, and law were all jobs domenated by men. Women had made some progress in the work force before the 1850's. In the mid nineteenth century women were the majority for grade school teachers, up from the ten percent of elementary teachers, that were teachers in the colonial period. This can be largely attributed not to the fact that men were more accepting of the idea that women belonged in the work place, but rather men were drown to the higher paying and more socially appreciated managerial jobs brought on by the industrial revolution. School boards did not mind these talented leaving because they could higher a "less qualified women" for as low as one fifth of males salary for the same job. Susan B. Anthony was the first women to publicly speak out against this gross injustice towards women. After being fired to "replace a male teacher fired for incompetence,she was paid one third of the salary he had received,"(Reifert 74)she went to the state teachers convention of 1853 to register a protest. After being hushed once and a half hour of debate she was finally allowed to speak her peace. Although nothing became of her first encounter with the women's movement, she quit teaching and went on to become one of the great leaders of the women's movement. Antoinette Brown was anther women that was not happy with the status quo of women in society. She started, in 1846, by attending Oberlin college, which only nine years before had become the first co-educational college. Oberlin, although being very receptive of women in their women's department, they did not let women take any courses besides the ones offered in the women department. This lead to a conflict when Brown made her intentions of obtaining a theology degree known. Brown won the battle to attend the classes she needed for her degree, but this was by far not the last battle for equality she would have to fight. Oberlan "refused to grant her a students license to preach.," and after her course work was completed Oberlan would not " allow her to take part in the graduation ceremony, be licensed, ordained, or even have her name registered on the class roll."(Reifert 76) It took three years, of hard looking for Brown to find a Protestant Church that would allow her to be ordained. Finally after all of her struggles Antoinette Brown was ordained the first protestant female minister in America. "Women in the early 1800's were discriminated against both as practitioner and as patient."(Reifert 77) Women were thought that it was wrong for them to seek help from doctors for any problems that had anything remotely to do with their reproductive system. It was also thought that Women were to fragile to deal with the work that goes with being a doctor. Elizabeth Blackwell saw first hand the effects of the first problem mentioned. She watched a family friend die because she was embarrassed to bring her problem to the attention of her male doctor. Blackwell was not detoured by the Idea that no medical school would take her, because she could not compete with males. After all almost everyone at the time believed that "the female brain was different then the male brain."(Reifert 78) Blackwell finally gained admittance to Geneva College after a unanimous vote of the student body to let her in. This vote should not be taken as a sign that men were becoming more accepting of women infiltrating what was formally known as male only territory. It should be noted that most of the students believed that either the vote was a joke or that Blackwell would not stay around long. Blackwell proved all the skeptics wrong by graduating in the top of her class, but still no hospital in the United States would allow her to intern. For her internship Blackwell went to Paris. When She got back to the United States Blackwell found that no hospital would allow her to use their facilities. In 1857 she secured enough money to turn facility into a hospital. Similar to doctors, nurses were largely male until the 1850's. Nursing followed a similar path as elementary teachers, as more higher paid jobs opened up, it left room for women to take over less glamorous jobs. In the early nineteenth century lawyers were thought by apprenticeship. This was a very big problem for women that had an interest in this field, because no men lawyers would ever dream of having a female apprentice. The emergence of law schools made the job of a lawyer remotely accessible, but by no means easy. Such is the case of Myra Bradwell, who graduated from Chicago School of law, but was refused a license to practice law by the Illinois State Bar. She took her battle to the Supreme Court, by was ruled against. After her ruling was overturned in 1890 at the age of 59, she became a licensed lawyer and two years latter practiced law in front of the same court that had refused her rights 23 years earlier. Before these women had broken into these previously all male jobs women's jobs four general limitations. They are "(1) that women perform work similar to that of the home; (2) that no great skill be involved...; (3) that no great physical strength be required...; (4) that the work should not involve contacts with the rougher male sex..."(Riegel 135) Contrary to the Desires of their employers to maintain their workers femininity, the women, they provided their employees with very adverse working conditions. "The conditions under which most women were described by an on looker : girls take off their street suits and put on an old skirts and waists matted with glue dirt, in which the spend ten hours a day scorning, cutting and sniping, wetting great sheets of paper and paste... at a few cents a day" (Cantarow xxvii) Women at time made around half of what their male counterparts made. While male unions were proving very successful in the advancement in working conditions for men, but most unions had little interest in helping women's causes. For this reason,in 1903 the WTUL (Women's trade Union league) was launched. This helped Women unite to achieve better working conditions. The WTUL was very influential in the organization and support of the major women's strikes. Women fought many hard battles to gain access to areas that were at on time strictly off limits to them and fought hard to improve their working conditions. With out the struggles of these women other women might not have the rights they have today.

Dual Career Marriages

Karen and Ross have been married for six years. During these years, each has had to make decisions concerning their careers to accommodate each other. Two companies have now confronted Ross with a career opportunity, those being California Energy Systems and Petrolia Oil. He must decide by September 28 what opportunity to act upon, taking into account the effects it will have on his career, Karen's career, and their marriage. Situational Analysis Both individuals come from traditional families and are career orientated people. Karen believes the women in her life were career women but this is not entirely true. Her father held an executive job that forced continuous movement. Where as her mother held a 'traditional' position as a school teacher and she was not permitted to have work "interfere with home life and child- rearing responsibilities". On the other hand, Ross had a mother who devoted herself to the well-being of her husband and son. Where as his father was a business man that earned a high income, allowing the family to live in a comfortable home with a luxury lifestyle. Karen and Ross appear to be leading a life that is different from their parents but this is not entirely true. It is noteworthy to mention, that each has a traditional role within the marriage. For example, Ross is responsible for the financial aspects of the home while Karen is responsible for the household chores. At the beginning of the marriage, they attempted to have a "weekend marriage" but this was a great strain and Karen sacrificed her career by finding a job closer to Ross. This demonstrates they are traditional within the marriage, although Karen has an untraditional career. Career Opportunities As both Karen and Ross hold dual citizenship in Canada and the United States, they have frequently discussed the possibility of working in Canada. They concluded the Canadian market is less competitive and offers more options than California. However, Karen considers Canadian culture to be slower than U.S. culture concerning the treatment toward women. In June 1990, a Canadian utility company asked Karen to consider the possibility of joining their company. Upon consideration, Karen became less enthusiastic about the position and decided to decline the offer. Then in mid September, California Randle Corporation offered her a job in the organizational development department. This position would provide an increase in salary, double responsibility, and a great opportunity to learn and advance. The Bank of Ontario also interviewed her for a junior position and told Karen an opportunity might open later in the year. Simultaneously, Ross reluctantly extended his own job search to Ontario. Both the Bank of Ontario and Petrolia Oil offered him positions. The position at Petrolia Oil offered a major salary increase, a chance to work in a new and challenging field, and a request to begin work November 1. At the same time, he received an offer from Cal Eng. to join the Personnel Department. This position would represent a sizeable pay increase but only a lateral move in responsibility. Considerations In all dual career marriages, problems or issues must be considered. One issue that arises between dual career partners transportation. Who is going to take the car to work and how will the other get to work? This is only a minor concern and can easily be resolved. Another concern is the increase in money they will earn. Karen and Ross must consider who will be responsible for managing the funds. For example, will each maintain their own income or is it pooled together. Presently, Ross manages the finances for the home but each maintains their own accounts, contributing equally to the home. They must then decide where the money will be spent and invested. Again this is only a minor concern and can easily be addressed. However, there are more serious issues and problems that must be considered in dual-career marriages. To begin, Karen and Ross must arrange how they will divide the household responsibilities. As both partners are busy with work, they must divide the responsibilities evenly. For example, the couple must decide who will be responsible for the laundry, grocery shopping, cleanliness of the house, and meals. The division of responsibilities should not leave one feeling as if they are holding down two jobs. Today, jobs are demanding and stressful. This leaves a twofold affect on dual-career marriages. First, employers expect employees to work sixty to seventy hours a week, leaving little time for oneself. If two people are working this many hours, it makes it difficult to spend quality time with each other. Luckily , Karen and Ross realize the need for time together and take the time to plan quality time with each other. The other side of jobs today is the increase in stress among individuals. Since both partners are experiencing this stress, it is necessary for them to learn to cope with the stress and prevent it from entering the marriage. With both people working in the marriage, they can assume that each will have different goals, aspirations, and missions. Recognizing and accepting the differences between each other's is important. If both parties want to be successful with their careers, while maintaining their marriage, they must support each others goals, aspirations and missions. If they do not support each other, then one may have to give up part of their career or the marriage may end. The final issue that must be considered in dual-career marriages is children. At this time, Karen does not have any children and Ross has one from a previous marriage. Talking about what will happen if Karen becomes pregnant is important and they must take time to discuss this issue. They must consider areas such as who will stay home with the child after birth, will the children go to day care, and whose career desires will have to be put on hold when the child is born. All of these issues must be considered before any couple marries to prevent problems from arising later. Both Karen and Ross have already been through one marriage and they can attribute this to the work styles each hold. Unfortunately, they only dated for a short time before marriage and there was no indication these factors were considered. Before Ross makes any decision about his career, it is important they discuss these issues. Alternatives There are many options available to Ross in respect to his career. To begin, he could choose to accept the job with Cal Eng. This job will provide him with a sizeable pay increase but will only be a lateral move in his career. The advantages of this option are the increases in pay and the ability to remain in California. As his parents are in the Bay area, the job with Cal Eng. will permit him to remain close to them. Another positive side to this option is Karen's career. As California Randle Corporation has offered Karen a position, this will provide her with the opportunity to further her career. At the same time, she will have the opportunity to learn, advance her career, and receive an increase in salary. An additional option available to Ross is accepting the job with Petrolia Oil in Toronto. In respect to his career, this position will provide him with a new and challenging field, while receiving an increase in pay. Unfortunately, this alternative may or may not further Karen's career. At this time, a utility firm has offered her a position and the Bank of Ontario has interviewed her for a junior position. After considering the offer from the utilities firm, she has concluded she would not like to work with the company and the position with the Bank of Ontario is not definite. Also, as stated before, Karen finds the treatment of women in Canada to be behind that of the United States. On a positive note, OD field in Canada is less competitive and therefore provides more options than in California. Another possible alternative for Ross is to decline the offer with Cal Eng. Instead, he could remain at his present job while looking for another. This will allow Karen to accept the position with Randle Corporation and permit Ross to remain close to his family. Unfortunately, this option may leave Ross feeling unsatisfied with his career, which could lead to problems within the marriage. Recommendation Ideally, it is recommended Ross either take the job with Cal Eng. or remain at his current job, continuing his job hunt. This will allow him to remain in California and close to his parents. In addition, this will allow Karen to further her career. Unfortunately, this is probably not what Ross will choose. As mentioned earlier, both Karen and Ross come from traditional families. It is evident their upbringing is playing a significant role in their lives today. For example, within the home Karen is responsible for the household chores while Ross is responsible for the household finances. Therefore, it can be predicted that Ross will decline the offer from Cal Eng. and accept the offer with Petrolia Oil in Toronto. Since Karen already sacrificed her career when she moved closer to Ross, it can be anticipated she will do the same in this situation. Although Karen sacrificed her career before, this alternative will probably lead to long term problems. To begin, Karen does not know if she definitely has a job in Toronto and therefore might not want to relocate in Canada. However, Ross can probably convince her of the benefits that exist in Toronto. For example, he can point out the OD market in Canada is less competitive and therefore can provide her with ample opportunities. Once she gets to Canada, she may not find a job that suits her desires. This in turn may leave her feeling unhappy with her career, which could lead to her resenting Ross for moving to Toronto. If this does happen, the marriage will probably end. On a positive note, she might be able to find a suitable job in Canada since competition is lower and she is highly qualified. Also, the lifestyle in Canada is slower than the United States lifestyle. This will allow Karen and Ross to get their marriage back on track as the two began their marriage with a weekend marriage. Even though this later changed, the two do not appear to be spending a great deal of time together. In conclusion, it is recommended Ross and Karen sit down and discuss the problems and issues that arise in dual-career marriages. From this, they should decide together what Ross should do. This will allow a win/win situation and thus both should be satisfied with the outcome.

Introduction to Human services

#1 Jeffrey, "A Human Services Professional is someone who is a facilitator for someone who is not able or not yet able to deal with issues in a healthy way. I am taking classes so that I can learn how to best help empower people change their situation by believing in themselves. I believe that people have the answers within themselves, but may need help getting in touch with their spiritual or intuitive self. As human services providers, we hopefully strive to model healthy behavior, including the fact that we are human, need support from our peers, and can make mistakes." "When a client is ready, we educate them to give them an idea of what is destructive behavior, bring to their attention possible consequences of their actions, and suggest ideas or alternatives. Usually a client already knows all this, they just never knew a better way or thought their way of dealing with life was normal. I work on accepting each person where they are in their life, which takes strength. I may be saying in my mind, 'Can't you see your way out of the prison you're in?', but then I remember that I used to be in the same place, and it took years to find my way out. I still struggle with my addiction, and it still affects me, just not so profoundly." "What I would like to do is work with teenagers. As a teenager, I was befriended by a Young Life leader. He was a man in his 40's and didn't want anything from me but to be my friend. When I drank beer at lunch, he didn't tell me to not drink. I don't remember his words so much as the feeling I got when we were together. He was like a father/friend to me. He seemed to care about me unconditionally. He looked at me like a real human person, which made me uncomfortable, which now looking back, was probably because I wasn't used to that. My own father lived in the same house with me, but he was not emotionally available to me. My own father seemed to think that all women are good for is sex and housekeeping. That scares me when I think of that now. My first husband thought of me only as good for sex, baby making, and housekeeping. I am grateful that I have wised up since then. My passion is to work in the alternative schools as a tutor or mentor, to help give kids some kind of an idea what life can be about. I may not see results right away, but I do believe that 'being there' for kids is an investment. They may not realize until years later as I did, that someone had a positive affect on their lives." 2 One of my coworkers from Vietnam told me that in her country, the prisoners work for their food. I thought to myself, as I am sure many people have before, that we should try that here in this country. I do not think that sitting in prison really helps anybody. I have heard that there are work camps where the inmates learn a skill or trade so that when the inmates are released into society, they at least have marketable job skills working in their favor. I think community service should be required as an alternative to jail or prison in some cases. Picking up garbage may seem demeaning, but I know of a city employee who makes a good salary picking up garbage around my neighborhood. Maybe if the people who threw the garbage on the ground had to pick it up, they would care. Taking classes, GED or college, is popular in prison also. I have a friend who learned computer skills in prison and is now working toward a degree in computer engineering. He is grateful he had the opportunity to take college classes in prison, otherwise he may have never found out how much he enjoys programming computers. It seems to help his self esteem, because he seems gifted in this area and people often ask for his help and advice concerning computers. I suppose that providing housing for convicted criminals would not cost more than incarceration. It does not seem that imprisonment is much of a deterrent to crime. A Settlement House may seem idealistic, but is more feasible than some may think. Sex offenders are often released into the community. A new program has been implemented in which parole officers and police officers regularly visit released offenders. A step in the right direction was made when our community invited a psychologist from a sex offender treatment facility to educate us about this population, rather than ignoring the problem and hoping it will go away. The psychologist told us that serious offenders are psychopathic; they do not know and do not care what is right and wrong, nor do they care who they hurt. They have no feelings or emotions. Even so, I do not think that terrorizing or intimidating released sex offenders, as I have heard of in some cities, helps anybody. I think many criminals would be better off with the awareness and support of the community. It is often difficult for former prison inmates to find shelter, and a transitional community setting may help resolve many problems. I have wondered if support from the community would help some offenders. Sometimes people fall into addictions because of something missing in his or her life. If we combine resources of therapy, job training, supervision, and community involvement, maybe we would see some positive changes. It certainly wouldn't hurt to be more open minded. 3 Children in grade school used to say I was weird. I eventually realized that my way of thinking is different from that of many people. In high school I would verbally express my thoughts and people would say to me with amazement, "I have never met a person like you." I guess some of my ideas and thoughts were quite creative and abstract. I like to think of myself as eccentric. Now that I am older, I tell myself that only narrow minded people would think I am strange. I used to feel like I was born in the wrong century or wrong country. A positive aspect is that my way of thinking allows me to be sensitive and open minded. I know how it feels to feel out of place. Not just in a group of people, but in this dimension we call "life on planet Earth". I have become proud of my nonconformity. My way thinking is, "Why be normal?" What I have learned is to get in touch with my spiritual self. I can feel a connection with people on this level. Sometimes I feel threatened or uncomfortable with people because of the vibrations I feel from them. I think about how this will affect my career. Will I be afraid of someone for no tangible reason? Will I favor some people because of how I respond to them emotionally? Being different sometimes makes people stronger. Sometimes it makes people suicidal. I have been to both places. I feel that because of situations I have been faced with, I can relate to people with a variety of challenges and help emotionally support them through tough times. Personally, I feel that I have survived by the grace of God. Some people think it is impossible to be saved by God, but they also told me they don't believe in God. This is interesting to me because I never believed in God until I received therapy for an addiction I am recovering from. It makes me wonder if God only blesses people who are begging for healing, as I was. I guess I was ready to accept a power greater than myself. As a human service provider, I hope that I can help people in some way, otherwise it is not worth it. I would like to think I haven't gone through all this stuff for nothing. 4 When I learned about Maslow's theory in my psychology class, it made sense to me because I have experienced self-actualization in my life. I experience more of what I call spiritual awareness every day. I believe that when a person feels he or she is in a safe environment, he can spend more time on personal growth and awareness instead of wasting energy defending himself. Accepting people as a philosophy, I make a conscienscious decision every time I communicate with people to be aware that what I see as a destructive behavior is most likely a mode of survival for them. Being addicted to something is a desperate hunger for wholeness. I think the process of life is so painful for some people, they opt for suicide. Death is seen as instant spiritual freedom and an end to human suffering. Emotional growth can be painful and can take a lot of strength. We gain strength from our experiences which makes us stronger for more growth. It is all a process. Sometimes the challenges are so overwhelming, we need the support and strength of someone who has experienced difficulties and believes there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. Learning about Erickson's theories helps me understand how people may pass through stages in life. I do think that many needs not met in childhood can be met later in life. I know someone who said he didn't need anybody and he was better on his own, but as I got to know him better, he told me that he gets lonely and is afraid of getting hurt. As a young child, he was sent to live with his grandmother because his stepfather was abusive. He felt guilty that he could not be there to protect his mother. Because of these experiences, he is very protective of his children and is very close to his mother. To protect himself from pain, he refused to become emotionally attached to someone unless he knew her well enough to know she would not abandon him. In my opinion, it would be therapeutic for him to be in a long-term relationship. 6 It's the 90's. Diversification is expected. Networking is important. When I worked in the Community College Wellness Center, I would visit some of the local agencies offering services. I would rather refer someone to an agency if I knew of its integrity. Not only is my credibility on the line, but I am not doing a client a favor by giving him or her a referral which may lead to disappointment. In the 90's, there are more trained mental health professionals than ever before in the history of civilization. Therefore, we are each allowed to develop a specific skill rather than knowing a little of each area of need. From what I have read about history, people were first concerned about basic survival. Hopefully, by helping people meet basic needs, we can go beyond mere survival. It seems that people are seeking more meaning in their lives. I have read that a goal for a woman up to the 1960's, was to find a husband who would be a good provider and not abusive, but now women (and men) want intellectual stimulation, someone they can have an intelligent conversation with. Marriage and family counselors are more acceptable now than when I was growing up. It used to be that people would be ashamed to admit they were even thinking about counseling, where now I here people almost bragging about it - learning to communicate with your family, if you did not grow up freely expressing your thoughts, feels wonderful. I plan to learn more about my field before I call myself a specialist. Being able to work with teenagers will probably require me to be a specialist in several fields, including juvenile, domestic violence and chemical dependency. My goal is to receive a well rounded education. From the creativity and insight of teenagers to the wisdom and insight of senior citizens, my horizons are broadened when I converse with people from different backgrounds. Whether we are advocates, educators, or directors, we are each trained to use our individual talents to create a functional system of human service workers. 7 Get a job! Permanent birth control now mandated for every woman on the dole! I admit, sometimes these thoughts cross my mind. But I am also one of these women. What began as my American Dream ended as quickly as it began. My husband was in the Navy. I thought I would live a life of adventure, see new places, meet new people. What really happened is that I ended up on an isolated military base, with a man who didn't really care about me or his child. Being that I have felt the need for independence from a man, I do not think there are any simple solutions such as 'stay married', or 'get a job'. In my opinion it is unfair to ask a mother of a baby to go to work and put her baby in a daycare. I think children should be four or five years of age before put in daycare. Many populations are in need of assistance. Sometimes I envy the women who live in ( ). They drive Mazda Minivans, take up hobbies, and don't need to work. Sometimes I wonder how many are unhappily trapped in that life. They know they could be one day away from losing their children, their home, everything. When I think of drastic welfare reform, what scares me is the control someone can have over you when he knows that without him, you have nothing. I consider myself a capitalist, but I can't but help think about CEOs who make salaries in the millions. And about disabled people who live on a few hundred a month. I think opportunities for education should be funded. Without education, many people have no marketable skills to earn an adequate living. 10 It's not just a job, it's an adventure! In a job you'll get burned out. If you find a career you love, you will use a lot of energy, but the rewards will keep you motivated. At the public library, there are many books to give you ideas and help you decide on a career. I found a group of books in the Community College Library issued by the US Department of Labor in which the author suggests listing a few things you would be interested in doing as a career. I also found a set of four books called Encyclopedia of Careers and Vocational Guidance. Then decide which ideas would be a practical for you to earn a living. If you have a gift or ability, it feels good to use it to help people. Volunteering is a good way to find out where your talents lie. I have been fortunate enough to have had the opportunity to be employed as a work-study student by several departments on my college campus. I found out by on the job experience what I love to do. Is it possible to go to school or receive on the job training? Sometimes where there is a will, there is a way. I know some people who manage apartments, therefore do not need to pay rent for a place to live. They receive financial aid and food stamps while they are in school. What some people do is find out which professions are in demand, or will be in the future. These trends can be found in publications such as government statistical manuals. If there is something you think you would like to explore, maybe you could talk to people who are willing to take the time to explain how they carry out their responsibilities for their work. Bring a list of questions so the person you are interviewing has an idea of what specific aspects of their career you are curious about. People who are happy with their careers are usually quite willing to talk about themselves in this way. I know someone who owns his own business. He began as a backyard mechanic and now ten years later runs a very successful auto repair shop. For him it means long hours, but he is very proud of his accomplishments. He says there is nothing like being your own boss.

Interacial Relations Marriages

Thesis statement,: The United States has witnessed a considerable social and cultural desegregation of Black and Caucasian Americans. However, despite years of desegregation, racial and cultural differences still exist. I show these differences still exist in the institution of marriage. 1. Americans have been and are continually moving slowly away from segregation. A. Since the 1960's Blacks have been allowed to move into mainly Caucasian neighborhoods. B. Integration on campuses is now more apparent then ever before. 1. Students cat together. 2. Students study together, C. Black and Caucasian issues have converged. 11, notwithstanding these examples of desegregation, there are still signs, most clearly is apparent in the institution of marriage between Black and Caucasians. Ill. One of the major barrier.-, of interracial marriages lies in the family of the couples. A. Louis, a Caucasian women, and Chuck, a Black man, were married in 1960. 1 . They have no prejudice about each other. 2@ Both have mixed group of friends. 3, They had problems with family. a) Louis mother had asked her why she could not marry her own kind. b) This conflict finally caused the ties between mother and daughter to break. B. Mama, a Caucasian Jewish, married a Black. I . None of her family members attended her wedding except her mother. 2. Her father told her that he could not believe that she married a Black. Nevertheless, she survived her family disapproval. IV. An unlikely source of problems for interracial married couples comes from religion. A. The majority of interracial married couples involved in Christian churches before marriage discontinue church membership and attendance after marriage. B. Couples search for churches that are like home. C. They are met with resistance from religious people who have been reported to have said that if their children married a Black person, they would kill them. D. Every couple has their own crisis, but for some, the church officials who are against divorce will turn around and recommend a separation.... because the couple are a Black and a Caucasian. V. These churches need to face a growing phenomenon. 1. In the Old Testament, God strongly opposes intermarriage. a) Ezra and Nehemiah challenge the people to repent over intermarriage. They describe it as Israel's most sinful offense. 2. A closer look at the passage reveals something else. a) Opposition to intermarriage arises when people of God marry those who worship a God other then Yahweh- B. The church must repent not only from bad theology but also for failing to protest racist laws in the past. VI. The law is equally to blame for the segregation, by causing tensions. A. Edgar and Jean and had twice stopped by the police because they were walking hand in hand, but more so, because they were Black and Caucasian. B. Law that supports the "one drop" theory. vii. The problems of interracial married couples also extends to their children. A. The Bronzes had sent their daughter to a pajama party at a Black families place. When they picked their daughter up the host family was surprised to see that her father was Caucasian. B. Older children of interracial married parents also face problems. 1. They have to decided which parents' culture to adopt. 2. They have to decided if they are Black or Caucasian. With all these problems, what brings these Black and Caucasian people together? A. Opportunity that an educated partner provides. B. How the partner perceives the beauty of the other. C. The ability to communicate. D. The main reason, love. ix. It can be seen quite clearly that there are still attitudes that support segregation. A. It could possibly be true that the only way to make changes involving segregation, is through marriage. Interracial Relations: Marriages The United States has witnessed a considerable amount of social and cultural desegregation of Blacks and Caucasians. However, despite years of desegregation, social and cultural differences still exists. These differences still exist in the institution of marriage. Americans have been and are continually moving slowly away from segregation. In the past forty years a multitude of changes have transformed schools, jobs, voting booths, neighborhoods, hotels, restaurants and even the wedding altar, facilitating tolerance for racial diversity ( Norman 108 ). Since the 1960's, when housing discrimination was outlawed, many Blacks moved into mainly Caucasian neighborhoods. The steadily growing areas in the west and south-west are least segregated, because these areas never had the entrenched Black and Caucasian sections of town ( "Up For separatist' 30 ). Even more visible signs of desegregation can be seen in the areas of education. A study done by the University of Michigan shows that integration on campuses occur on a regular basis. The racial line are crossed routinely; about 50% of Blacks and 15% of Caucasians reportedly study together. Eating patterns also share the same similarities. At a social level there has been a steady convergence of opinion on a variety of racial issues. Since 1972, surveys have asked whether the respondent would favor a law making inter-racial marriages illegal. In 11980 the results showed that 3 0, I% of Caucasians and 18.3% of Blacks favor such a law. By 1994, the collected data showed 14.7% and 3.2% respectively. Similar trends have also been observed in busing and even integrated social clubs ( "Up For Separatist' 3 0 ). A simple analysis shows that on the surface desegregation is moving in the right direction. Notwithstanding these examples of desegregation, a deeper analysis shows that there are still signs of racial discriminations; most apparently seen in the institution of marriage between Blacks and Caucasians. The United States bureau of the Census reported that in 1987 over 827,000 interracial married couples existed in America, of which fewer than 200,000 of them were between Blacks and Caucasians ( Herring 29 ). These numbers ( census ) do not reflect the spread of desegregation very well. If there is such a large spread of desegregation between Blacks and Caucasians from the past to the present, then the numbers should reflect a much larger count of interracial marriages between these races. This however, is untrue; therefore there are less apparent barriers Black and Caucasian couples face. One of the major barriers that face these couples does not come from themselves but rather from family disapproval. Lois, a Caucasian women, and her husband Chuck Bronz, a Black man, were married in 1960. They have no prejudice about each other and they share the comfortable rhythm of any long married couple. They had no problems with friends because they had a good mix of them from different races; friends who looked at the person not the color. However, they had problems with other people, namely Lois's mother. Her mother had sat her down and asked her why she could not marry her own kind. Lois, of course, stood firm and married Chuck, which unfortunately resulted in the ties between her mother and herself breaking Kantrowitz 40 Rebun, a Black Jewish man, married Mama, a Caucasian Lutheran women. None of Mama's relatives attended the wedding, except for her mother. Mama's father was finious that he was expected to accept a Black, and a Jew, into the family ( Aunapu, Monroe, Sachs and Taylor 65 ). It is not the disfavor of strangers that hurts these couples the most, but rather the disfavor of family. Territa, a Black women, had broken up with Todd, her Caucasian husband, several times before getting married because of the initial reaction of Todd's family ( Randolph 154 ). These people nevertheless survived their family disapproval. Fred and Anita Prinzing, both Caucasians, know the troubles of interracial marriage. Both their son and daughter married Blacks. Fred and Anita responded that they thought that they were not prejudiced, and were proud of it; but when it came to their children, they could not explain their prejudice towards their children marrying Blacks. The best explanation they could give is that their prejudice is the left over residue of their parents ( Gilbereath 32 ). Another major barrier that Black and Caucasian couples encounter comes from an unlikely source, religion. In Earnest Porterfield's classic survey of interracial marriages, one fact stands out. The majority of couples actively involved in Christian churches before marriage, discontinue church membership and attendance after marriage. A growing number of couples in America are crossing racial and cultural lines to many. Every couple has their own crisis but, for some, church officials who are against divorce will turn around and recommend a separation simply because the couple are Black and Caucasian. In several books of the Old Testament, intermarriage is strongly opposed by God and his prophets. Ezra and Nehemiah, two of Israel's God-ordained leaders, challenged the people to repent over intermarriage and encouraged divorce en masse. They describe intermarriage with those who do not revere God as one of Israel's most offense crimes. A closer look at the Old Testament, however, reveals misinterpretation. Opposition to intermarriage arises when people of God many those who worship a God other than Yahweh. These couples are searching for churches that feel like home. If national trends are any indication, the American churches need to be prepared to face a growing phenomenon. Until that happens interracial married couples will meet with resistance from religious people who have been reported as saying that if their own children married Blacks, they would kill them ( Perkins 30 ). The church must repent not only for bad theology but also for failing to protest racist laws in the past ( Myra 18 ). The law is equally to blame for causing unnecessary tension. A study of thirty nine "fiddle class Black--Caucasian couples in New York found that most of these couples had experienced being pulled over by police who suspected either the Black women to be a prostitute or the Black man to be a rapist ( Perldns 30 ). Edger, a Caucasian Jewish man , and Jean, a Black Baptist women, on more than one occasion have been stopped and arrested by police because they were walking arm in arm ( Aunapu, Monroe, Sachs and Taylor 65 ). Races have mixed, Going back to the Colonial days. Over time, other races have blended with Caucasians without question. Black mixing, however, has been accountable for the "one drop" theory which has defined a way to permanently separate Blacks. The "one drop" theory was reinforced in the landmark Plessy vs. Ferguson Supreme Court ruling in 1986. The Plaintiff, Homer Plessy, argued that segregation was wrong and he should not be discriminated against because, after all, he was only one-eighth Black. The justices, however, ruled that he must ride in the "separate but equal" coaches reserved for "coloreds." Almost I 00 years later, in 1986, the Supreme Court, upheld a decision forcing a Louisiana woman who was only one-thirty second Black, to be legally declared as Black. ( Norinen 108 ). Troubles do not stop here for interracial married couples. The problems that are faced by interracial parents are mirrored in their children. On one occasion the Bronzes had sent their daughter, Shelly, who looks Black, to a pajama party. The Bronzes had never met the family, who are Black, that put up the pajama party and decided that one of them should go to say hello. So Chuck, Shelly's dad, knocked on the door and was met with disbelief The family was surprised that Shelly's father was a Black ( Kantrowitz 40 ). Older children of interracial marriage parents also face problems. They have to make a choice as to which parent's culture to adopt. Halle Beny stated that it is important that multicultural individuals make a choice about race early in the life because even if they identify themselves as interracial they will still be discriminated against as a person of color in this country ( Norman 108 ). Knowing all these barriers and problems, what brings Black and Caucasian people together? According to a study done by Matthijis K@jin, a factor that is consistently associated with intermarriage is social class or status. Black outmarriage becomes gradually more common when moving up the occupational scale and more common among higher educated Blacks. Among Caucasians the pattern is reversed. It is believed that Caucasians are more likely to many a Black spouse when it allows them to many a partner of high socioeconomic prestige ( 119 ). The appreciation of a partner's beauty and the common; the ability to communicate, and the main reason for marriage, love is what bring them together (Randolph 154 It can be seen conclusively, that parents, religion and the attitudes of people, in general, are the main causes to the friction in interracial relationships and marriages. It is difficult, if not impossible, to change the attitude of parents, the older generation, to influence the churches to accepting the patterns of new thought and identity. The older generation will not change because their ideas and thoughts have been ingrained in them. The current generation, who are also guilty of causing friction, and the next generation must be educated to understand and accept these patterns of new thought, interracial marriages. Until these. attitudes, that support segregation, are suppressed and eventually i ab] hat the only way to make changes involving segregation i 8 ). Children of interracial married couples learn tolerance within the family, which allows these children to ad their experiences to others, in one way or another.